Girlfriend leaving me :(

[eggman]

:rofl: :clap:

 

[Essex_Lad]

My wife just called me.

She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous."

I said, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

 

[evanvine]

Wife and I were talking about having two emotions with one thought.
I said that can't be done.
She said, out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick!

 

[robsan77]

Wife and I were talking about having two emotions with one thought.
I said that can't be done.
She said, out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick!

Took me a minute but

 

[robsan77]

The missus just came in wearing a little PVC number and told me sit down and she'll do what she does best. I can't wait. I f***ing love shepherd's pie.

 

[evanvine]

I can't wait. I f***ing love shepherd's pie.

Must be the thought of the sheep!

 

[cf.]

My girlfriend has left me a note:

"I'm leaving you because you're so stupid and bigoted."

Well I'm not stupid, I'm just dyslexic. And I can't help it if I have big toes.