The traditional christmas cook

[PD]

Cooking the Turkey
1.Buy a turkey
2.Have a glass of wine while preparing it
3.Stuff the turkey
4. Have a glass of wine
5.Put turkey in oven and award yourself another glogg of wine.
6. Open a new wottle of bine.
7. Hunt for the wine thermommmmetere.wine of glass another get
8. Glass yourself another another pour o wine
9. Bake the wine for 4 hours
10. Take the oven out of the turnkey
11. tet the sable
12 Grabanother wottle of bine ( bloody gud year )
13 Turk the frigging carvery
14 Cerry Merymass to ya’all

 

[graysalchemy]

:lol: :lol:

 

[dizzyredblack]

:rofl:

 

[graysalchemy]

My mother in law is a little confused as you didn't mention anything about sprouts so she has put them in any case.................... should be done in time :lol: :lol:

 

[sam.k]

i didn't realise we had the same mother in law gray!

 

[Tim_Crowhurst]

My mother in law is a little confused as you didn't mention anything about sprouts so she has put them in any case.................... should be done in time :lol: :lol:

For Christmas 2031, possibly. 2013? I doubt it!

(Alternatively, you could do my take on Portuguese Brussels: parboil, quarter, then sautee in butter with chorizo or smoked lardons, garlic, smoked paprika, finely chopped shallots, a pinch of cayenne, and a dash or two of single cream just at the end. You wouldn't believe there was sprouts in there!)

 

[oldbloke]

We rarely have turkey. We like to get a nice bit of venison or boar or something.
Otherwise it's broadly similar...
It's the starting with buck's fizz for brekky that does it I think.

 

[Vossy1]

That sounds like a Keith Floyd recipe :lol:

 

[Tim_Crowhurst]

The Portuguese Brussels, or the Bucks Fizz Breakfast?

For my it's Irish coffee with my Full English on Christmas Day. Well, it's a Full English with Irish (or gaelic) coffee, then porridge, and finally croissants, home-made jams & jellies and a pot of earl grey. You need a big breakfast inside you if you're going to survive through to Christmas dinner, given how often it emerges an hour or two late when my uncle's cooking.

 

[OnlyFerment]

We rarely have turkey. We like to get a nice bit of venison or boar or something.
Otherwise it's broadly similar...
It's the starting with buck's fizz for brekky that does it I think.

I like a nice pheasant for Christmas dinner. My OH isn't so keen so we often have 2 meats - pheasant and venison which makes for a really great meal. The boar sounds really good - I think I'll have to go hunting for the Christmas meats this year (in a civilised supermarket kind of way :) ).

I think there may be an appearance of the Portuguese Sprouts as they sound lush.

Our normal Christmas breakfast is pork pie and pickles. You need a bit of sustenance when lunch never seems to materialise before about 3 o'clock for some reason. I never really know what happens to make it so late when it is really only a Sunday roast. Best breakfast has to be many years ago when I gave my dad a bottle of JD which we started for breakfast :

Dave

 

[oldbloke]

Brekky is OJ, coffee, smoked salmon with potato latkes, buck's fizz, anything else you fancy.
Trick with sprouts is to include toasted pine nuts and bacon bits.
Venison is good marinaded in red wine for at least a day before you roast it.

 

[Tim_Crowhurst]

I think there may be an appearance of the Portuguese Sprouts as they sound lush.

They're particularly useful at Christmas as you can do the par-boiling the night before, so they only take about five minutes on the day, rather than five hours.

Another one my family do is parsnip gratin. Parsnips, cooked until soft then mashed with butter and pepper, and put in a gratin dish smothered with strong cheddar, then covered in cling-film. On the day you take off the cling-film and add it to the oven along with the potatoes, pigs-in-blankets, yorkshire puddings and any stuffing that you couldn't get into the turkey. If that sounds like a lot, it's because my aunt & uncle's cooker has two ovens - and when you're feeding between fifteen and twenty, you need that much space.

 

[spike418]

My mother in law is a little confused as you didn't mention anything about sprouts so she has put them in any case.................... should be done in time :lol: :lol:

For Christmas 2031, possibly. 2013? I doubt it!

(Alternatively, you could do my take on Portuguese Brussels: parboil, quarter, then sautee in butter with chorizo or smoked lardons, garlic, smoked paprika, finely chopped shallots, a pinch of cayenne, and a dash or two of single cream just at the end. You wouldn't believe there was sprouts in there!)

Now that looks tasty.
We have had an Indian style approach to xmas ingredients such as pork madras turkey korma etc . The real revelation was sprout bhajis, we pigged out on them as a starter and had to leave the main meal for a few hours :

 

[kentmark]

(Alternatively, you could do my take on Portuguese Brussels: parboil, quarter, then sautee in butter with chorizo or smoked lardons, garlic, smoked paprika, finely chopped shallots, a pinch of cayenne, and a dash or two of single cream just at the end. You wouldn't believe there was sprouts in there!)

Sod christmas, that sounds like a great dish on its own one evening. I've got a weekend at home alone in a few weeks (swmbo is a vegetarian and away then) so think i'll give this a go but load up on the chorizo!

 

[Tim_Crowhurst]

I'd go a more sino-hispanic route if I was doing it as a full meal, kentmark.

Marinade some king or tiger prawns for a few hours in a sauce of the chorizo, paprika, garlic, cayenne and a few tablespoons of dry cider, then stir-fry with the sprouts and sliced shallots in a little ground-nut oil, adding more cider if it looks like things are getting too dry. For variation/ease, you could use shredded kale or savoy rather than sprouts (savoy won't need parboiling) and red onion rather than shallots.

 

[Ceejay]

Those Portuguese sprouts sound amazing. Better than "Sprouts Mexicains" :rofl:

 

[Grumpy Jack]

Those Portuguese sprouts sound amazing. Better than "Sprouts Mexicains" :rofl:

Ah... Now there's a Christmas tradition, Bottom - Holy. Brilliant!
Classic humour. :lol:

 

[Brewtrog]

Not enough wine mentioned for our Christmas, and that's just the morning :rofl:

 

[Tim_Crowhurst]

I don't drink wine at Christmas. I have it on IV.

 

[Dronfieldbrewer]

We start early...nice breads marmalade and jams...bacon butties when the kids are opening their prezzies, glass of Bucks Fizz...7.00am..
Another Bucks Fizz when the In laws come around to deliver prezzies for the kids 8:30..sherry when the kids have unwrapped these prezzies.....rude not to as Mother in law doesn't like Bucks Fizz
Mum comes around about 9:00am...Prezzies for the kids, bacon butty...Glass of Bucks Fizz..small sherry...Bird gets stuffed about 10.30...then lunch is put on...we don't like turkey so have lamb or beef...but its good to give the bird its xmas pressie anyway (Fnarr Fnarr)...

While the dinner is on, crack open a few beers...then off to the pub to compare **** jumpers...the whole pub smells of aftershave...3 pints later then back home to put the veg on...Sister turns up for lunch about 2pm...few beers, wine and sherry...2 hours later of constant troughing... no more room for beer so onto the port, whiskey, Baileys and the like...

5.00pm its time for a quick walk to clear a cobweb or two, back at 6.00 to start grazing with cold meats, pickles...good time for the dark stuff, so the stout comes out...few pints of stout and then a whiskey or two...
Xmas day night...port...quality street....xmas cake....mince pies...cheese...crackers..stilton...grapes..

Then dozing off into an alcohol induced slumber....

Boxing day is Alka Seltzer day...go for a long walk as by this time my farts are so rancid I dare not let them fly in the house in fear of all the needles falling off the tree, we have an artificial tree... :shock: :shock: