Guys... I'm fine, thanks for your concern! Just having a bit of a 'life wobble'. Normal service will resume shortly!
Gunge.
- Thread starter Chippy_Tea
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MyQul
Chairman of the Bored
Glad to see your still around :thumb:
MmmBeer
Brewer
Glad to hear it mate, your healthy dose of beligerence always added to the attraction of this forum for me. Hope you are back to your best form soon.
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Glad to see you are still with us. :thumb:
Basically, I am and have been working around the clock. Nowt particularly remarkable about that, but the missus ( in the middle of a highly traumatic menopause ) is 100% convinced that I'm having it away with the burd who does the wages. It might sound trivial and even amusing, but I assure y'all it ain't. It's deadly serious... with the emphasis on deadly. I think she's psychotic. Whaddo I do, bearing in mind that her suspicions are totally unfounded?
OMG I was scared just reading that, I have no suggestions. :unsure:
Unlikely - he's at that age where he's completely detached from us and neither knows nor cares what is or isn't going on. The sad thing is, in 25 years together I've never strayed, never. She's my world. And in her heart she knows it, so I can't comprehend what's gotten into her. I know without a doubt that this will be resolved for the good, as the truth must surely prevail. Just the here and now which is proving difficult to negotiate.
My wife's mate is going through this at the moment and is having a bad time of it my wife says she is dreading it, from what I have read (and it isn't much) about the menapause she is not dreading it as much as me that's for sure.
Oneflewover
Landlord.
Sounds like you'll get it sorted, good luck.
Ajhutch
Landlord.
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That’s a great attitude, I wish you all the best and hope this difficult time is over soon.
That's a toughie, because any increased affection towards mrs. gunge may lead her to think you have a guilty conscience. Perhaps show her the post you put in the forum?
Whenever I buy mrs doj flowers or a treat, she thinks - what have you done / been up to!
Whenever I buy mrs doj flowers or a treat, she thinks - what have you done / been up to!
LarryF
Brew Numpty
Nice to see you back Gunge, I was worried the Carolina Reapers had done for you. I have the joys of a mid menopausal wife and it just seems to be a roller coaster ride that I'm being dragged along on whether I like it or not. Hang in there as best you can. It's all good at the moment but it it can all go south in a heartbeat and back to normal just as quick, I often find myself the other side of one thinking "what the hell was that all about?"
Dutto
Landlord.
Great to see you back! :thumb:
With regard to the menopause it's no fun for the woman so they naturally make it no fun for us lot either!
Part One
Apart from the physical signs (hot flushes, sudden sweats, loss of periods etc) I understand that the biggest thing to hit the ladies is "I can't have kids any more!" This hits them hard, even if they've said they don't want another one for the previous fifteen years! It's understandable in a way.
Many of the things I haven't done for a while has been because I simply stopped doing them (e.g. riding a motorbike). However, with arthritis in my back, legs, wrists and arms riding a motorbike would now be really dangerous so I've gone from "Don't do it." to "Can't do it."
If a small change like that upsets me, then imagine what a woman feels when she hits the menopause! They can suddenly feel "useless" and with "no future" so there's little wonder that some of them react badly.
Part Two
Having seen her own body shutdown on the childbearing front it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that a woman who is going through the menopause looks at her partner and thinks "No more chance of me having kids, but that ******* can still have them!" and they start to brood on this simple fact.
The next step is even more dangerous! It's when the woman starts to blame her male partner for anything and everything about their lives. Phrases such as "You made me ...", "You said ....", "You promised me ..." etc can become a regular feature of the relationship. They also go in for massive accusations that are based more on suspicion than fact. They can range from "You are having an affair." to "Looking at that girl means you are comparing her to me."
If the man responds then he is "bullying" and if he does nothing then he is demonstrating a complete lack of care about the woman and the relationship! This may or may not be followed with "Well why don't you go and ..."
I put this down to "Luck" and wish you the very same! :thumb:
With regard to the menopause it's no fun for the woman so they naturally make it no fun for us lot either!
Part One
Apart from the physical signs (hot flushes, sudden sweats, loss of periods etc) I understand that the biggest thing to hit the ladies is "I can't have kids any more!" This hits them hard, even if they've said they don't want another one for the previous fifteen years! It's understandable in a way.
Many of the things I haven't done for a while has been because I simply stopped doing them (e.g. riding a motorbike). However, with arthritis in my back, legs, wrists and arms riding a motorbike would now be really dangerous so I've gone from "Don't do it." to "Can't do it."
If a small change like that upsets me, then imagine what a woman feels when she hits the menopause! They can suddenly feel "useless" and with "no future" so there's little wonder that some of them react badly.
Part Two
Having seen her own body shutdown on the childbearing front it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that a woman who is going through the menopause looks at her partner and thinks "No more chance of me having kids, but that ******* can still have them!" and they start to brood on this simple fact.
The next step is even more dangerous! It's when the woman starts to blame her male partner for anything and everything about their lives. Phrases such as "You made me ...", "You said ....", "You promised me ..." etc can become a regular feature of the relationship. They also go in for massive accusations that are based more on suspicion than fact. They can range from "You are having an affair." to "Looking at that girl means you are comparing her to me."
If the man responds then he is "bullying" and if he does nothing then he is demonstrating a complete lack of care about the woman and the relationship! This may or may not be followed with "Well why don't you go and ..."
- "... live in the garage with your beer."
- "... live with your fancy woman." or even
- "... just leave."
I put this down to "Luck" and wish you the very same! :thumb:
Great responses and I'm reassured that this is to be expected, however horrible it is... thanks everyone. Must run in her family cos I recall her mother having a very torrid time of it, turning from a timid, quiet woman into a full-blown dragon which all but drove hubby away.
Anyways the reason I'm doing so much overtime in the first place is so's I can take her away somewhere nice for a while and have a bit of quality time for us. Can't win, huh? Ok, time to go wake her up... wish me luck lol.
Anyways the reason I'm doing so much overtime in the first place is so's I can take her away somewhere nice for a while and have a bit of quality time for us. Can't win, huh? Ok, time to go wake her up... wish me luck lol.
Sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place. Don't forget to take some quality time together now, since differences between the two of you can fester if you don't sort them out. That extra quality time spent now may be worth far more than a few quid saving up for something that might be some time away.
And if its a health issue affecting your wife be brave and seek professional advice.
Anyway however it turns out I wish you both well.
And if its a health issue affecting your wife be brave and seek professional advice.
Anyway however it turns out I wish you both well.
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BeerCat
Landlord.
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I hope you have removed all sharp objects from the house.
Eyup, flower
I've held off posting because I didn't really have any decent advice for you. Advice is free, so it's worth nothing.
However, in your situation I would cut the overtime, mate, and spend some time with the missus, no matter how horrible that might be at the moment.
Like @terrym wrote, you both need the quality time right now.
I'm just down t'road if you need an ear to bend.
I've held off posting because I didn't really have any decent advice for you. Advice is free, so it's worth nothing.
However, in your situation I would cut the overtime, mate, and spend some time with the missus, no matter how horrible that might be at the moment.
Like @terrym wrote, you both need the quality time right now.
I'm just down t'road if you need an ear to bend.
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