Hi all, please note my sarcastic comments are in bold. 
Your electricity meter has reached the end of its lifetime, so it’s time to replace it with a new one. You said that last year
The good news is, IS IT? we can upgrade your old meter to a smart meter, free of charge.
Smart meters come with an in-home display unit (IHD) that shows you how much energy you’re using in real time. So we encourage you to use less and we can then up our prices so you get less for more
This makes it easier to see where you’re using the most energy, which can help you use less. Doh! I know when I use more energy, my appliances have energy use ratings on them
Why get a smart meter? So you can control and monitor your customers as cheaply as possible and shaft us in more subtle ways?
Smart meters help you make more energy-conscious decisions, which can save you money and reduce your carbon emissions. This is why smart meters are key to helping the UK reach net-zero and shaping the future of energy. More green washing going on here. I know how much energy my appliances use do you mean I can decide whether to heat the house or cook food once you ramp up the prices?
Your smart meter will:
■ Tell you how much energy you’re using in real time you already tried to sell this earlier
■ Make sure you only pay for the energy you use you mean the existing meter is faulty or next door is nicking my gas and leccy?
■ Show you how much you’re spending see above
■ Help you make energy and cost-saving decisions see above - heat or eat
and then........
Installation appointment
Smart meter installation appointments are available in four hour windows from Monday to Friday. You, or another adult over the age of 18, will need to be at home for the duration of the appointment window plus the time it takes to complete your installation. Appointments can take up to 90 minutes, but due to technical reasons no **** sherlock, there may be instances where an installation takes longer. As part of the installation, your gas and electricity will need to be turned off for a short time, including unplugging any sensitive electrical equipment.
Half hourly meter readings
In order to get the most from your new smart meter(s) you will be asked to give your consent to us receiving your half hourly energy consumption. You'd love to detect when I plug my tesla plaid in eh. and then charge me more for the privilege
Things to note
We follow the Smart Metering Installation Code of Practice (SMICoP), which means that we give you all the right information and support throughout the smart meter installation process. For more information visit our website. (we can't be bothered to tell you here)
• You’ll need to be at home for your appointment, which should take up to an hour per meter you said 90 mins earlier, ah you expect to have some technical problems off the bat?
• Your electricity will need to be turned off for a short time, including unplugging any sensitive electrical equipment can't I use the main circuit breaker?
• If installing a gas meter - your gas supply will be interrupted for a short period, so all gas appliances will need to be turned off
• If installing a gas meter - our engineer will perform gas safety checks and if there are any issues, they will leave you with relevant safety notices and advise you on the next steps
So apologies if you love monitoring your usage. I don't leave stuff on if I don't need to use it. so this brings nothing to the table. Heck I even unplugged my laser printer which uses 1w in standby given we only print out once every week or two. I've done the math on every energy using thing I use, I'm CDO like that
.
Of course when the free energy monitor fails, you pay for a replacement but they can still connect and check your usage every 30 mins.
Your electricity meter has reached the end of its lifetime, so it’s time to replace it with a new one. You said that last year
The good news is, IS IT? we can upgrade your old meter to a smart meter, free of charge.
Smart meters come with an in-home display unit (IHD) that shows you how much energy you’re using in real time. So we encourage you to use less and we can then up our prices so you get less for more
This makes it easier to see where you’re using the most energy, which can help you use less. Doh! I know when I use more energy, my appliances have energy use ratings on them
Why get a smart meter? So you can control and monitor your customers as cheaply as possible and shaft us in more subtle ways?
Smart meters help you make more energy-conscious decisions, which can save you money and reduce your carbon emissions. This is why smart meters are key to helping the UK reach net-zero and shaping the future of energy. More green washing going on here. I know how much energy my appliances use do you mean I can decide whether to heat the house or cook food once you ramp up the prices?
Your smart meter will:
■ Tell you how much energy you’re using in real time you already tried to sell this earlier
■ Make sure you only pay for the energy you use you mean the existing meter is faulty or next door is nicking my gas and leccy?
■ Show you how much you’re spending see above
■ Help you make energy and cost-saving decisions see above - heat or eat
and then........
Installation appointment
Smart meter installation appointments are available in four hour windows from Monday to Friday. You, or another adult over the age of 18, will need to be at home for the duration of the appointment window plus the time it takes to complete your installation. Appointments can take up to 90 minutes, but due to technical reasons no **** sherlock, there may be instances where an installation takes longer. As part of the installation, your gas and electricity will need to be turned off for a short time, including unplugging any sensitive electrical equipment.
Half hourly meter readings
In order to get the most from your new smart meter(s) you will be asked to give your consent to us receiving your half hourly energy consumption. You'd love to detect when I plug my tesla plaid in eh. and then charge me more for the privilege
Things to note
We follow the Smart Metering Installation Code of Practice (SMICoP), which means that we give you all the right information and support throughout the smart meter installation process. For more information visit our website. (we can't be bothered to tell you here)
• You’ll need to be at home for your appointment, which should take up to an hour per meter you said 90 mins earlier, ah you expect to have some technical problems off the bat?
• Your electricity will need to be turned off for a short time, including unplugging any sensitive electrical equipment can't I use the main circuit breaker?
• If installing a gas meter - your gas supply will be interrupted for a short period, so all gas appliances will need to be turned off
• If installing a gas meter - our engineer will perform gas safety checks and if there are any issues, they will leave you with relevant safety notices and advise you on the next steps
So apologies if you love monitoring your usage. I don't leave stuff on if I don't need to use it. so this brings nothing to the table. Heck I even unplugged my laser printer which uses 1w in standby given we only print out once every week or two. I've done the math on every energy using thing I use, I'm CDO like that
.Of course when the free energy monitor fails, you pay for a replacement but they can still connect and check your usage every 30 mins.
