BigYin
Regular.
:lol:
Iâve just come out of the âchippyâ with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man sat there and said âIâve not eaten for two daysâ.. I told him âI wish I had your will powerâ
I got fired on my first day as a masseur today. Apparently the instruction âfinish off on her faceâ didnât mean what I thought it did.
A fat bird served me food in McDonaldâs at lunch time; she said âsorry about the waitâ. I said âdonât worry fatso, youâll lose it eventuallyâ
Snow eh! The weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself âsheâll be lucky with a face like that!â
I have a new chat up line that works every time! It doesnât matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and I always end up in bed with them. Hereâs how it goes âExcuse me love, could I ask your opinion?
Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?â
Years ago it was suggested âthat an apple a day kept the doctor awayâ. But since all the doctors are now M*slim, Iâve found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, f**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!
Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?'
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about s*x.
Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.
Dad says, 'So what were you watching?'
Billy says, ' Wimbledon .'
A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband, I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.'
He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'
Wife gets naked & asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my se*y body?'
Hubby looks her up & down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!
An elderly couple are attending Mass.
About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
Iâve just come out of the âchippyâ with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man sat there and said âIâve not eaten for two daysâ.. I told him âI wish I had your will powerâ
I got fired on my first day as a masseur today. Apparently the instruction âfinish off on her faceâ didnât mean what I thought it did.
A fat bird served me food in McDonaldâs at lunch time; she said âsorry about the waitâ. I said âdonât worry fatso, youâll lose it eventuallyâ
Snow eh! The weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself âsheâll be lucky with a face like that!â
I have a new chat up line that works every time! It doesnât matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and I always end up in bed with them. Hereâs how it goes âExcuse me love, could I ask your opinion?
Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?â
Years ago it was suggested âthat an apple a day kept the doctor awayâ. But since all the doctors are now M*slim, Iâve found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, f**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!
Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?'
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about s*x.
Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.
Dad says, 'So what were you watching?'
Billy says, ' Wimbledon .'
A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband, I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.'
He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'
Wife gets naked & asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my se*y body?'
Hubby looks her up & down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!
An elderly couple are attending Mass.
About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
