Welcome! :small
Yup, the watermanagement. If it doesn't work, stop doing it and try another way. No way you're going to boil away 3 extra gallons. So, what I'd do (and actually do) is
I have a 20 liter pot. Meaning 20 liter is BRIM. Say I have a recipe for an ale, scaled down to 16 liters tells me I have a bit over 4 kilos to mash. Meaning I'll lose about 4 liters, soaked up by the grain. And I want the malt to have a decent bath so every kilo gets 3 liters of water. Nice and spacey.
Heating up 12 liters to 72º-ish, dump the malt into grainbag, level rises to about 15 liters. Soak for an hour or so (I have a selfmade oversized tea cosy from radiator foil. It works). Turning stove back on, stir until 75º, leave for another 10 minutes under the tea cosy again.
Remove grainbag with malt, drop onto false bottom or sieve (whatever you use for sparging). I had 12 liters, now there's 8 liters in the pot, meaning I get to use another 8 liters to rinse, at the least.
I aim for about 17 liters at the start of the boil, to let the hops whirl. Gonna lose 10% during the boil, then a colander or sieve with cheese cloth for filtering, leaves me on average with 15 liters in the fv. Add a liter of fridge-cold water for cooling purposes and it's done.
Sometimes the recipe isn't taking in consideration what the average homebrewer has for equipment. So one has to take the recipe not too literally.
Did you start out with extract or straight into allgrain?