I'm the best hooch brewer anyone have ever seen!
My heart is gold, it's solid and hard as a rock!
I should stick to brewing hooch then; it has done wonders for your brain.
Inshallah might be good enough for beer brewers.
In spite of the fact that nearly all beers contain residual sugars that, were the necessary enzymes present, would ferment in the bottle, beer makers (home and commercial) have been confident enough for centuries to bottle their beer with an addition of simple (priming) sugars.
Sure many "industrial" beers are filtered and pasteurised, but not all and that's a relatively new thing.
You're on much safer ground with mead and sweet, dessert wines as honey doesn't contain these complex sugars to any significant extent. Normally, you have to exceed the alcohol tolerance of the yeast by feeding the batch every now and then until it can take no more or (and I haven't done this myself) you can limit the amount of nutrient available to the yeast if you want a lower abv, sweet drink. This latter is done all the time in making sweet cider with an abv around 2-3%, but with cider, the naturally occuring nutrient has to be taken out of the juice, while honey is already deficient.
So, heart of gold and brain of hooch, let me add that I've been making mead for about 25 years, I've never had a bottle burst and there has been no sign of effervescence when opening a new bottle.
To change the subject, I'm fascinated by the leftist hijacking Reddit. What do you mean? (and how is it relevant to making mead?) I can easily see how you might fall foul of the sadist moderators there. You might fall foul of them here if they think you're a troll rather than just píșsed.
Now:
The Heart of Gold. The first entity to be powered by the infinite improbability drive. Stolen by Zaphod, if my memory serves me right.
Very apt as I suspect it's highly improbable you'll take anything away from this exchange as you already know it all!
Well "two heads are better than one" as the very Zaphod would have said.