I'm Struggling

[Tess Tickle's Brewery]

Hey guys

Just wanted to let you all know that if I'm quiet for a bit I haven't gone away for good. I really enjoy the interaction with you all, but I just feel like I've got nothing positive to add at the moment.

My mental health right now is the worst it's ever been - I'm suffering with constant anxiety over EVERYTHING, depression and paranoia, and it's ruining my marriage. Hopefully some of you will understand. Coupled with money worries, I feel like I've nowhere to turn.

I know some of it will get better on it's own if I ride it out, and some of it will need a lot of work.

I'm not looking for sympathy or pity, just felt like reaching out to you might help me to feel a little bit better. Also might help others if they are going through similar, to know you're not the only one.

It took a lot of courage for me to write this, so please don't be nasty or judgemental. I'm not gonna lie down and take it, or let it beat me.

 

[Hazelwood Brewery]

Hey Lisa, this all sounds horrible and I can’t think how I could help, I’m just hoping that having someone respond will itself help in some small way.

I heard a guy talk about his depression once and he made the point that we are essentially a social animal and that modern life has taken away a lot of that social contact. He described it as some sort of tribal family where each person in the tribe has a sense of their belonging to a tribe and having a purpose/contributing to the tribe. Many of us having not got that sense of purpose/belonging [edit: and] struggle. He found he was able to improve his mental health by getting involved in things that brought him into contact with others. I can’t remember which groups he joined but it was something like an art group, gardening club, dance group, etc.

The more general issues in life are constantly up and down. Those I think are easier to see past because you know at some point you’ll come out of it and it’s just a question of time.

I hope there are others on the forum with some more practical advice for you but take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

 

[Stevieboy]

Well done for reaching out in the first place. It's a good step. You are not alone. We will help wherever we can I'm sure.

I'm staring down the barrel of Christmas without my kids, and I really don't know how I'm going to be on the day itself...

 

[Gerryjo]

Hey guys

Just wanted to let you all know that if I'm quiet for a bit I haven't gone away for good. I really enjoy the interaction with you all, but I just feel like I've got nothing positive to add at the moment.

My mental health right now is the worst it's ever been - I'm suffering with constant anxiety over EVERYTHING, depression and paranoia, and it's ruining my marriage. Hopefully some of you will understand. Coupled with money worries, I feel like I've nowhere to turn.

I know some of it will get better on it's own if I ride it out, and some of it will need a lot of work.

I'm not looking for sympathy or pity, just felt like reaching out to you might help me to feel a little bit better. Also might help others if they are going through similar, to know you're not the only one.

It took a lot of courage for me to write this, so please don't be nasty or judgemental. I'm not gonna lie down and take it, or let it beat me.

Believe it or not just admitting to yourself that there are problems within your life never mind the forum is a step to recovery which is certainly not an overnight fix.
I know exactly where you are coming from as I'm just coming out the other side and my marriage although better now is still on the mend being depressed takes you to some dark places which for me me were Isolation,Online Gambling, ignorant of others and not a care in the world for those who loved me most and seen the self destruction I was causing but I failed to acknowledge it was me and blamed the world for my failings.
Could write a book but that's personal as is yours but acknowledgement is key as you can work from there.
I wish you well but keep up with the forum and keep yourself busy and if you're on Meds for depression be careful as these can cause more harm than good as I have had them...

 

[An Ankoù]

Hey, Lisa,
I was taking a break from the forum, too, as I seem to waste too much good brewing time talking about it instead. Or about other craap, which had got nothing to do with brewing.
Couldn't avoid logging back on, though, to wish you well. Haven't any advice to offer except hang on in there. Hope the pendulum starts to swing the other way for you pretty soon. All the best.

 

[Tess Tickle's Brewery]

Thank you everyone. you've helped more than you know just by acknowledging that I'm not on my own.

I hope everyone gets their issues resolved as quickly as possible and start to feel better. ❤

 

[Leon103]

Has you can see, you are not alone. I hope you are getting the support outside of this forum too. I am told talking about it helps but if it was me I would talk to those around me as they are the ones that can really help. Drink in moderation or none at all.

 

[Jon1961]

Sorry that you’re feeling so rubbish right now. Try to remember that things will get better.
I hope you’ve got a sympathetic GP that you can talk to. Although you may have to be persistent in getting an appointment, don’t be fobbed off!
It would be worth getting in touch with your local branch of MIND, and - for money issues - Citizens Advice.
All the best

 

[Buffers brewery]

Sending you a virtual hug @LisaMC . Having been on this planet (there may have been others ) for +70 years I’ve learnt that **** happens but doesn’t last for ever.

 

[Tess Tickle's Brewery]

Thanks everyone. Much appreciated x

 

[Brewnaldo]

Its ok to not be ok Lisa. We live in particularly **** times. Feeling low is absolutely natural. No one can take all the blows life has for us or live through all the negativity we hear and see and be unaffected. Just try not to upset the natural cycle by beating yourself up or blaming yourself for it. The mind can become unwell or fatigued like any other part of our body, except that we don't understand anywhere near enough about it and we end up with fear and stigma that can lead to it getting worse.

As you fell, so shall you rise.

 

[The Baron]

Just come back to us when you feel it is right Lisa.
Life can be rubbish at times I think we have all been there more than once but it is harder for some people, just keep battling along I am sure you will cvome out the other side better and stronger x

 

[Graz]

Hey guys

Just wanted to let you all know that if I'm quiet for a bit I haven't gone away for good. I really enjoy the interaction with you all, but I just feel like I've got nothing positive to add at the moment.

My mental health right now is the worst it's ever been - I'm suffering with constant anxiety over EVERYTHING, depression and paranoia, and it's ruining my marriage. Hopefully some of you will understand. Coupled with money worries, I feel like I've nowhere to turn.

I know some of it will get better on it's own if I ride it out, and some of it will need a lot of work.

I'm not looking for sympathy or pity, just felt like reaching out to you might help me to feel a little bit better. Also might help others if they are going through similar, to know you're not the only one.

It took a lot of courage for me to write this, so please don't be nasty or judgemental. I'm not gonna lie down and take it, or let it beat me.

You have my sympathies and talking about it is one of the best things you can do. I'm quite an anxious person myself and did go through a spell a number of years back when I had quite a few panic attacks. It wasn't a great time.

I'm hoping you have already sought some professional help but if not then please see your GP. They are much more understanding of these sort of issues these days and should be able to help you out even if it is only to point you in the direction of self help type therapies. Look up about mindfulness on the Internet.

Also if you can try to get some regular exercise. This helped me a lot during dark times. There's a lot to be said for natural endorphins. Even just a half hour walk in the local park enjoying the nature can make a big difference.

Hope you feel better about things soon.

 

[Nottsbeer]

Hi Lisa, from my own experience, I would strongly recommend talking to a councillor (if not already). Although friends/relatives can be very supportive, I found a trained person asked questions others wouldn't, and they forced me to evaluate aspects of my life I found easy to ignor. All of the suggestions others have highlighted are also excellent. Don't rush yourself to get through this, and when things are seeming lost, look for little positives to provide encouragement. Take care.

 

[Nottsbeer]

Hi Lisa, from my own experience, I would strongly recommend talking to a councillor (if not already). Although friends/relatives can be very supportive, I found a trained person asked questions others wouldn't, and they forced me to evaluate aspects of my life I found easy to ignor. All of the suggestions others have highlighted are also excellent. Don't rush yourself to get through this, and when things are seeming lost, look for little positives to provide encouragement. Take care.

Just an afterthought....there are alot of professionals out there who will help. If your GP recommends someone or you find your own help, don't be afraid to change person if they don't make you feel comfortable (providing the correct env. etc to talk). I changed from face to face to telephone consultations and that worked very well for me (it also removed the possibility of finding excuses to skip the session). If you are currently working, see if your organisation offers help. My employer provided access to councillors, funding the first 8 sessions. It was all kept very confidential by HR.

 

[DavidDetroit]

My mental health right now is the worst it's ever been - I'm suffering with constant anxiety over EVERYTHING,

Some things that could help, if you're not already doing them:
Don't watch any news or read any whatsoever for a month. Have a trusted friend inform you of only what you absolutely need to know.
Don't communicate with people who are negative.
Try to eat/sleep as well as you can.
Long walks if feasible. Make yourself go every day if necessary. The openness helps extrovert your attention.

Cheers.

 

[HSD]

Just to echo DavidDetroit, when I had troubles of my own the things that helped the most were getting outside in nature, garden, walks, park whatever, even just five minutes going every day, and as mentioned talking to a good professional, they have the perspective and distance that friends and family can’t.
Take care of yourself.

 

[m_kc]

Sorry that you’re feeling so rubbish right now. Try to remember that things will get better.
I hope you’ve got a sympathetic GP that you can talk to. Although you may have to be persistent in getting an appointment, don’t be fobbed off!
It would be worth getting in touch with your local branch of MIND, and - for money issues - Citizens Advice.
All the best

MIND are great. The CBT courses you can do online are really helpful for everyday life.

 

[Alastair70]

Hi Lisa, lots of really great advice here already so I won’t add to it.
Look after yourself and embrace all the positive things that you see around you.
Hope you’re back and on form soon.

 

[EsterBanana]

We don't even know each other at all, I think I saw one or two of your posts, but I know what it's like when the world weighs heavy and I hope you are bouncing back soon!

Anxiety is a horrible thing to go though. I had a few years of full on panic attacks, waking up every 2 hours at night in full panic attack mode, ended up in A&E thinking I was dying a few times, and plenty more times where I just stopped bothering them because it was the same symptoms.

I have tried pretty much everything and found my way out of the other side, if you would like me to go through them or point you in the direction of some reading, just say the word. DM is totally okay. In total confidence. Same goes for anyone struggling.

Like others have said, lots of good advice here, but one thing I will say that I found incredibly effective is to go and stand outside on grass in your bare feet, it's especially effective if it's wet grass. It sounds ridiculous, but it is incredibly calming and relaxing. A quick reset.

Best wishes!! Don't give up!!