Name for a New Pilot Nanobrewery?

[Desi_Rable]

So, I'm actually a pretty new entrant to the world of alcoholic beverages in general; only started drinking for the first time (second, if one includes that time when I mistook a plastic cup with ale in it for apple juice at a wedding reception back when I was 7yrs old, which tasted absolutely disgusting to me back then and put me off trying it again for decades afterward) a few years ago, in my thirties. And over the past year and a half or so, over the course of the lockdown, I've been taking my first few tentative steps into the world of home-brewing, more as a hobby than anything else. Found that I enjoyed it though, and having been out of a job for the past few months, with little to no luck in the job market, I figured, why not turn my newfound part-time pastime into something more, and go semi-pro? When I first registered here on this forum, I was initially interested in trying my hand at distilling, and planned to recreate a few heritage 'Desi Dārū' beverages, passed down from generation to generation from back home in the Punjab, bringing them up to modern production standards as well as adding a few tweaks of my own. The more seasoned members here swiftly enlightened me on the illegality of delving into the realm of distillation without a license here in the UK though, and so I've put those those particular plans on hold for a while (albeit with the hope of perhaps embarking on that particular avenue of exploration, at a later stage), and kept things a bit more basic, shifting my focus to IPA's instead. And that's what I'll be maintaining the nanobrewery's focus upon, at least in its pilot phase.

I'm well aware that there's an immense amount of competition in the market, with an overabundance of craft breweries in the UK in general creating an extremely congested business environment, and both production and consumption massively dominated by the few corporate leviathans (to a similar or even greater extent than in the business sector where I established my first start-up company, that of fiction book publishing). As such, I'm keeping my aspirations and expectations fairly firmly planted on the ground, and aiming to establish a small-scale localized operation. Regarding the commercial viability of such an endeavor in the local area, as a resident of Slough, I reckon I've got a better chance than I would in most other locales; Slough is both the most populous and most densely populated urban area in the entirety of the UK without a single brewery, after all, since the last few historically established brewers in town ceased their operations after the 2008 financial crisis, with the closest competitors (geographically) being Windsor & Eton Brewery and moogBrew in Taplow. Both of which are also relatively new, having been established in the past decade or so, and have been pretty successful ventures, thanks in part to the abundant and otherwise untapped local consumer base they were able to take advantage of from the outset. The way I see it, Slough's current dearth of local breweries is both a bit of a tragedy to be remedied, and a fortuitous opportunity, there for the taking.

Which brings us to the topic of this thread. Of course, corporate identity, branding and marketing are key essentials for any start-up company, but for a brewery, they can be absolutely critical. And I've got a whole bunch of ideas regarding what to to potentially call my nanobrewery, along with drafts for branding designs and logos. All of the ones on the list for the poll have personal relevance, greater local subtext and/or interesting backstories behind them (which I'd be happy to share, if you're interested), and I've already checked to confirm that they're all freely available. But I'm having a hard time deciding which one to choose, and adopt as the registered name of the nanobrewery. Which is why I'm here, hoping for some helpful feedback. Which one do you reckon I should go with? And of the others, do you think any of them might be more suitable names for the beverages themselves, rather than the brewery?

 

[Cheshire Cat]

None of the above.

 

[Desi_Rable]

None of the above.

Well, OK then. How come? Kind of hoped for a bit more feedback than a four-word reply...

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Sorry Desi I don’t like any but if I had to choose then Grand Junction. Did that name come from the pub in Southall or the canal?
Edit
The pub is the Glassy Junction.

 

[Chippy_Tea]

Me and swmbo have just gone through the list and agree with the cat I guess the back stories may have made a difference but I think you need to go back to the drawing board.

 

[Clint]

I see the desi/ punjab reference...are you aiming at this market or is it sentimental reasons for the name?
Stabmon/Goldprick..what's that about?
The last one sounds like a hospital...

 

[-Bezza-]

Depends on what sort of vibe you're going for with the branding.

My 2p worth:

• Betjeman's - sounds more old fashioned
• Cosmopolit - the soviet vibes suggest some edgy brews
• Desi - doesn't do anything for me as far as brewing goes. Desi could be incorporated into something a bit more interesting, e.g. Desimate (not saying this is a good name itself mind)
• Despond of Slough - I've never been to Slough itself and my experiences of it are limited to Ali G and the limp-looking exit sign from the M4. I'm not sure adding Slough into the name is positive from a branding perspective
• Goldprick - Nope.
• Grand Union/Grand Junction - Hipster and too much existing cultural reference
• Hawker - Hipster but better than the above.
• Herschel - Doesn't say anything to me on a standalone basis
• Punjabrew - If you're wanting to play up the Punjabi connection then this works. You'd have to have a killer IPA though!
• StabMonk - I can't see including "Stab" in the name is all that sensible
• Upton Royal - Agree this isn't a brewery name. West Ham connotations too. *Googles Kate*

 

[Desi_Rable]

Sorry Desi I don’t like any but if I had to choose then Grand Junction. Did that name come from the pub in Southall or the canal?
Edit
The pub is the Glassy Junction.

Came from the Canal, or the Slough Arm of it.

I see the desi/ punjab reference...are you aiming at this market or is it sentimental reasons for the name?
Stabmon/Goldprick..what's that about?
The last one sounds like a hospital...

'Stabmonk' relates to a local story dating back to at least the mid-19th Century, when an organ-grinder's trained monkey bit the finger of a child who was teasing it, and the child's furious father stabbed the monkey to death (hence 'stab-monk'). The organ-grinder was very upset, so the villagers took pity on him and made a collection, raising enough money to buy a new monkey, have a funeral for the dead animal and hold a wake, which involved handing out free beer for the whole village. This proved so successful that the villagers decided to repeat the event the following year, making a 'monkey' out of plaster and giving it a mock 'funeral', with the villagers holding a 'wake' for it, during which a man fell, or was pushed, into the Chalvey Brook. This became an annual event, and on each occasion the man who fell into the brook was declared 'Mayor of Chalvey' for the following year.

In 1919, the 'stab-monk' ceremony formed part of the Victory Celebrations marking the end of World War I. Almost inevitably, given the alcoholic nature of events, the 'stab-monk' was cited in a court case, with George Holdway, publican of The Cape of Good Hope (long since demolished, tragically), being summoned to face trial when revelers were found on his premises drinking alcohol out of hours. The story of the 'stab-monk' ceremony was told as part of his defence, as he had called in the 'funeral' procession as they were passing his public house, inviting them in for a drink to celebrate the end of the war. Although he had to pay court costs, Mr Holdway won his case. But afterwards, the event was scaled back, and became more and more intermittent, before being abandoned entirely shortly after WW2 (though in the event of greater success, if this brand were adopted, reviving the old annual beer festival with free samples, in a somewhat more orderly format, would also form part of the plans). The legend still survives though, with 'stab-monk' enduring as a slang term for any man born and bred in the town who at some time has either fallen, or been pushed, into the Chalvey Brook (when drunk).

'Goldprick', relates to the alternate name which Sir Ian Fleming threatened to call the titular character of Goldfinger, based none-too subtly upon the architect Erno Goldfinger. Fleming went to Eton College, situated along the Slough Road in close proximity to the town- where he excelled at athletics and held the title of Victor Ludorum ("Winner of the Games") for two years between 1925 and 1927, edited the school magazine, 'The Wyvern', and lived a lifestyle which brought him into conflict with his housemaster, E. V. Slater- who disapproved of Fleming's attitude, his hair oil, his ownership of a car and his relations with women, which he frequently paid visits to Slough to engage in (and contracted gonorrhea from); heavily basing James Bond's character upon his own exploits as an Etonian. And its three-nippled assassin 'Scaramanga' was also named after Norfolk vicar George Scaramanga, whom he fell out with while they were both students at Eton, for getting him into trouble (having ratting him out about what he'd been getting up with the girls over in Slough- some of whom were believed to have influenced a few of the 'Bond Girls'). And the majority of the James Bond films, including Goldfinger, were also filmed here, at Pinewood Studios, on the northern outskirts of town.

As for 'Upton Royal', it relates to an attempt which was made by a local landowner, Frederick Charsley, to change the name of Slough to Upton Royal, back in 1882- with his argument being that the name 'Slough' had too many negative connotations, leading people to believe that it was a damp place, and that this was putting people off moving here, to the detriment of the town as a whole (and losing him money, since the land he owned was losing value because no-one wanted to build houses on it). Several notable locals spoke out against the name change, including Henry Darvill, the lord of the manor, James Elliman, and Mr Turner. They argued that it could disrupt mail deliveries, that the name Slough "had historic value", and that there weren't sufficient royal connections to warrant the suffix 'Royal'.

Mr Charsley pressed for a vote to be taken, in which 57 people voted for the name change and 22 voted against it, with over half the attendees abstaining. Charsley considered this to be sufficient grounds to press ahead though, subsequently producing several posters stating 'This town is now called Upton Royal', which he instructed bill-posters to display prominently around the town. There was considerable reaction to this, not least from the Slough Local Board, who had not been consulted, and several local tradesmen. Charsley remained committed though, and a petition was eventually submitted to the Queen; but this was refused, and so the name of the town remained 'Slough' to this day.

Does the context add anything?

 

[Sadfield]

Hard to vote without knowing the context of each and the local area. One maybe a perfect fit.

Edit: Posted at the same time as above, so didn't see it. With the right branding, Stab Monk has some potential.

 

[Tanglefoot]

Goldprick sounds like the villain in an Austin Powers movie .

 

[Clint]

Came from the Canal, or the Slough Arm of it.

'Stabmonk' relates to a local story dating back to at least the mid-19th Century, when an organ-grinder's trained monkey bit the finger of a child who was teasing it, and the child's furious father stabbed the monkey to death (hence 'stab-monk'). The organ-grinder was very upset, so the villagers took pity on him and made a collection, raising enough money to buy a new monkey, have a funeral for the dead animal and hold a wake, which involved handing out free beer for the whole village. This proved so successful that the villagers decided to repeat the event the following year, making a 'monkey' out of plaster and giving it a mock 'funeral', with the villagers holding a 'wake' for it, during which a man fell, or was pushed, into the Chalvey Brook. This became an annual event, and on each occasion the man who fell into the brook was declared 'Mayor of Chalvey' for the following year.

In 1919, the 'stab-monk' ceremony formed part of the Victory Celebrations marking the end of World War I. Almost inevitably, given the alcoholic nature of events, the 'stab-monk' was cited in a court case, with George Holdway, publican of The Cape of Good Hope (long since demolished, tragically), being summoned to face trial when revelers were found on his premises drinking alcohol out of hours. The story of the 'stab-monk' ceremony was told as part of his defence, as he had called in the 'funeral' procession as they were passing his public house, inviting them in for a drink to celebrate the end of the war. Although he had to pay court costs, Mr Holdway won his case. But afterwards, the event was scaled back, and became more and more intermittent, before being abandoned entirely shortly after WW2 (though in the event of greater success, if this brand were adopted, reviving the old annual beer festival with free samples, in a somewhat more orderly format, would also form part of the plans). The legend still survives though, with 'stab-monk' enduring as a slang term for any man born and bred in the town who at some time has either fallen, or been pushed, into the Chalvey Brook (when drunk).

'Goldprick', relates to the alternate name which Sir Ian Fleming threatened to call the titular character of Goldfinger, based none-too subtly upon the architect Erno Goldfinger. Fleming went to Eton College, situated along the Slough Road in close proximity to the town- where he excelled at athletics and held the title of Victor Ludorum ("Winner of the Games") for two years between 1925 and 1927, edited the school magazine, 'The Wyvern', and lived a lifestyle which brought him into conflict with his housemaster, E. V. Slater- who disapproved of Fleming's attitude, his hair oil, his ownership of a car and his relations with women, which he frequently paid visits to Slough to engage in (and contracted gonorrhea from); heavily basing James Bond's character upon his own exploits as an Etonian. And its three-nippled assassin 'Scaramanga' was also named after Norfolk vicar George Scaramanga, whom he fell out with while they were both students at Eton, for getting him into trouble (ratting him out about what he'd been getting up with the girls in Slough .And the majority of the James Bond films, including Goldfinger, were also filmed here, at Pinewood Studios, on the northern outskirts of town.

As for 'Upton Royal', it relates to an attempt which was made by a local landowner, Frederick Charsley, to change the name of Slough to Upton Royal, back in 1882- with his argument being that the name 'Slough' had too many negative connotations, leading people to believe that it was a damp place, and that this was putting people off moving here, to the detriment of the town as a whole (and losing him money, since the land he owned was losing value because no-one wanted to build houses on it). Several notable locals spoke out against the name change, including Henry Darvill, the lord of the manor, James Elliman, and Mr Turner. They argued that it could disrupt mail deliveries, that the name Slough "had historic value", and that there weren't sufficient royal connections to warrant the suffix 'Royal'.

Mr Charsley pressed for a vote to be taken, in which 57 people voted for the name change and 22 voted against it, with over half the attendees abstaining. Charsley considered this to be sufficient grounds to press ahead though, subsequently producing several posters stating 'This town is now called Upton Royal', which he instructed bill-posters to display prominently around the town. There was considerable reaction to this, not least from the Slough Local Board, who had not been consulted, and several local tradesmen. Charsley remained committed though, and a petition was eventually submitted to the Queen; but this was refused, and so the name of the town remained 'Slough' to this day.

Does the context add anything?

Interesting..
You could maybe combine some...
Golden monkey?

 

[Jim Brewster]

The context is relevant but I would say shouldn't be too convoluted as it also needs to be easily apparent as well as having the back story. As above, I'm not really drawn to any of them but if any I prefer Grand Union but as said above but it does sound a bit hipster

 

[DavidDetroit]

Goldprick

007 villain

 

[Desi_Rable]

Depends on what sort of vibe you're going for with the branding.

My 2p worth:

• Betjeman's - sounds more old fashioned
• Cosmopolit - the soviet vibes suggest some edgy brews
• Desi - doesn't do anything for me as far as brewing goes. Desi could be incorporated into something a bit more interesting, e.g. Desimate (not saying this is a good name itself mind)
• Despond of Slough - I've never been to Slough itself and my experiences of it are limited to Ali G and the limp-looking exit sign from the M4. I'm not sure adding Slough into the name is positive from a branding perspective
• Goldprick - Nope.
• Grand Union/Grand Junction - Hipster and too much existing cultural reference
• Hawker - Hipster but better than the above.
• Herschel - Doesn't say anything to me on a standalone basis
• Punjabrew - If you're wanting to play up the Punjabi connection then this works. You'd have to have a killer IPA though!
• StabMonk - I can't see including "Stab" in the name is all that sensible
• Upton Royal - Agree this isn't a brewery name. West Ham connotations too. *Googles Kate*

One of the main reasons I'm caught up about which sort of name to go for is that I'm not actually sure which sort of vibe I want to go for (or would be most beneficial to go for), and I'm still open to adopting any of a number of different angles. Betjeman's would be the more traditionalist 'old ale' sort of brewery, Cosmopolit would be the semi-edgy option (but also playing a bit upon the town's very large Eastern European community, who have the reputation of being our heaviest drinkers), Desi would be playing up the Indian angle, making heavy use of Indian branding and emphasizing the I in IPA (as would Punjabrew, but with playing up the Punjabi angle in particular), and so on. Course, if anyone else has any original suggestions of their own, I'm all ears...

(PS. just edited the poll to emphasize this, and invite people to post their own ideas for a name)

 

[Chippy_Tea]

Hard to vote without knowing the context of each and the local area. One maybe a perfect fit.

@Desi_Rable this is kind of what i was getting at above do you want to have a name that only locals will get?

 

[The Baron]

You really need to look at the demographic profile and sort the customer you are aiming at.
I know you say the Eastern European community are deemed to be the bigger drinkers but 5% of them which I am guessing and this is only a guess are a minority against lets say 2% drinkers of the majority may give you a larger customer base again I do not know the demograohics of your area.
This will them give you thought for a name that is aimed at drawing in the highest customer base

 

[Chippy_Tea]

You could maybe combine some...

Sorted -
Desi's Grand Prick.

 

[Desi_Rable]

@Desi_Rable this is kind of what i was getting at above do you want to have a name that only locals will get?

TBH, I wouldn't particularly mind if it was a name that only locals would get; I'm not setting my sights too high, or holding any delusions of breaking through to get our cans/bottles on the shelves of the big supermarkets any time soon. But I'd probably prefer something with a fairly broad appeal, whilst still standing out from the crowd and being fairly distinctive.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

3D Ales or 3D Brews
Desi’s Delicious Drinks.

 

[Desi_Rable]

Sorted - Desi's Grand Prick.

IDK- sounds like it'd be a far more fun name for a specific brew, rather than for the brewery itself ("Fancy drinking something new? Why not slurping down a hearty pint of Desi's Grand Prick?"