Cheating at Chess with Anal Beads

[Twogunrocky]

Keep your friends close, but your enemas closer!

 

[Stevieboy]

Keep your friends close, but your enemas closer!

They're not to be sniffed at!

 

[jof]

It's normally really quiet at one of those competitions, wouldn't a microphone pick it up?

Or, now the rumour is out, some smart ar$e could go in with a selection of remote controllers & see how much disruption could be made

 

[Agentgonzo]

Definitely brings a new meaning to "smart ar$e"

 

[Bosch]

I've got to say @Twogunrocky 's puns are just world class.

As for using anal beads to cheat, bit far fetched me-thinks

 

[Donegal john]

I’m no anne summers rep but do anal beads buzz on command ?
Also it’s worrying how many home brewers know what they are and have come up with suggestions of how to utilise them to good effect
There will be a thread for sexual uses of an i spindle next

 

[jof]

I’m no anne summers rep but do anal beads buzz on command ?
Also it’s worrying how many home brewers know what they are and have come up with suggestions of how to utilise them to good effect
There will be a thread for sexual uses of an i spindle next

We have had the interweb a good few years now @Donegal john , if you don't know what something is you can ask the search engine of your choice, but be sure to use a private browsing window

 

[Donegal john]

We

We have had the interweb a good few years now @Donegal john , if you don't know what something is you can ask the search engine of your choice, but be sure to use a private browsing window

have something similar here. It’s called ‘ask pat’ he lives in the village next to me and if you pay him 4 potatoes and a cabbage he will get an answer to your question within a few days.
He also has a private browsing window where for 8 potatoes and 4 cabbages you can look in at his busty wife naked.
That Internet you talk of sounds fantastic for now we will make do with pat and Mary.

 

[Agentgonzo]

He also has a private browsing window where for 8 potatoes and 4 cabbages you can look in at his busty wife naked.

Is that "You can look at his naked busty wife", or "you can be naked and look at his busty wife"?

 

[jof]

Is that "You can look at his naked busty wife", or "you can be naked and look at his busty wife"?

Whatever floats your boat as they say

 

[Donegal john]

Is that "You can look at his naked busty wife", or "you can be naked and look at his busty wife"?

It’s extra to be naked as well and it’s also weather permitting.

 

[Chippy_Tea]

We have something similar here. It’s called ‘ask pat

The only Pat we have is a cowpat on dogger Hill you don't need fruit or veg to view naked ladies up there.

 

[Donegal john]

Whatever floats your boat as they say

Boat floating is 2 villages down.

 

[Slid]

I've almost always been interested in Chess and long ago played very briefly at a level that was serious to me at the time, but not to anyone else on this planet.
There is some serious, but mildly humorous, discussion on the subject of Carlsen and Neumann on the U-tube Channel run by a dude who calls himself Agadmator. I like this channel a lot, BTW.

 

[Agentgonzo]

Thus seems to have made the main page of the BBC news website... Though they don't mention anal beads at all!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-63010107

 

[YeastFace]

Not a headline I'd ever expected to read

 

[Haversham]

Apparently the use of vibrating anal beads is used to cheat in chess at the higher levels

No. What started as half jokey, idle daydreaming about possible ways of communicating coded messages to a chess player, seems now to have turned into established wisdom that this is what's routinely done at 'higher levels' of the game?

 

[Agentgonzo]

No. What started as half jokey, idle daydreaming about possible ways of communicating coded messages to a chess player, seems now to have turned into established wisdom that this is what's routinely done at 'higher levels' of the game?

At amateur levels, they use vegetables instead

 

[Twogunrocky]

Let's have it right, you have to be a monumentally boring person to play chess to any standard above, knowing how to play..... It was a hundred to one shot doc, a hundred to one!

 

[user 41945]

Going into engineer mode (only briefly, honest) I struggle to see how it would work. Unlike card games, you can see exactly where your opponent's pieces are. What you need to know is what's in his (in this instance) mind, and I can't see how a buzzer up your bum achieves this.
I imagine that one would need something like Morse code to communicate with your conspirator. Using semaphore would be stretching things a bit.