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Eh? So, you're slightly podgy, like to dress in skintight black wetsuit (with white bib), and enjoy snorkelling about in small (freezing cold) Highland rivers, looking under stones for grubby things to eat? If I was you, I'd go with @Twostage's image ... it's a lot less worrying.

Okay. I think I've corrected that in my last post. Brungard's outpourings have been integrated in my head for eons. I'm watching the latest Palmer video you posted ... I don't think there's much wrong with his chats; he's a pleasant enough chap, it's just homebrewers who misquote him...

@ChrisD123: Oops, I'm gaining criticism for not answering your original question right ... okay: Yes, your water is a great base, if you mean you don't have to take anything from it, just add stuff to bump up the salts your beer may need. Use a calculator like @hoppyscotty recommended in the...

Who? Me? Ask @ChrisD123 if I've hijacked his thread. And, if no-one noticed, I never promoted my "Defuddler" prior to post #12! I'd even said my own spreadsheet was of limited value in this case and a (quote) "'suck it and see' approach might be good". Which was followed by @foxy and @Galena...

You can. Try to explain how it's done ... then you can earn yourself the reputation I've seemed to have gained of being "confusing". And I wasn't referring to Calcium, it was "Alkalinity". And getting good measurements at such low levels is flippin' difficult ... just ask Wally at Pheonix! From...

Yes, it annoys me to have to work so hard to show things are so simple. That spreadsheet I talk of has required loads of my time and ability, yet its purpose is to show things are simple. Why am I accused of making things difficult when I'm criticizing advice to do the (near) impossible (such...

That what @Galena posted is a giggle ... someone saying John Palmer's book is great ... for falling asleep with! 💤 I wouldn't bother with Salifert kits: They just don't have the resolution to do anything for you (@ChrisD123). Even Wally at Pheonix Analytical will be hard pressed to make...

See those last two lines? "Hardness", and. "Soft". Take a thick black pen and put a line through them both. They are of no practical use to you whatsoever. People will try to tell you differently. But including them will confuse everything else and leave you thinking "what a complicated subject...

Having the entire amount of water treated and heated to "strike temperature" (which will be much lower than if using a smaller amount of strike water) before stirring in the grain. Mash as per normal then lift the malt-tube (steadily). Allow malt to drain off (heat while draining, but do not...

@Jahfish: Grainfather initially priced the "v3" malt-pipe (which upgraded a v2, perhaps v1 too?) quite attractively, but stuck the price up when finally available (or that's how it seemed). Still, I'm happy I got a v3 malt-pipe as it saved a lot of mucking about. But I'm a tad disabled (but not...

@Jahfish: Take a flexible tube and a flexible disc of smaller diameter than the tube's ID but held in by a small flange in the tube. Now how long will the disc stay in place while the tube is handled? A: It comes out, and I've witnessed it in the early GF! Making the disc a better fit in the...

If you had, I missed it too! Seems I rely on you for updates of Marston's. Ah well, bang goes another part of my beer-drinking youth (along with Bass, Shippo's, Ruddles, Home an' Hardy-Hanson ... etc?). I better re-double efforts to keep me homebrew going.

I believe Dave Line resorted to saccharin tablets 'cos the yeasts back then, which was Boot's own more times than not, were extraordinarily aggressive (yes ... I remember them!). I'd dream of having finishing gravities of 1.010. These days it's easy to pick out a yeast that is as "attenuative"...

Guinness has nothing compared with this: https://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/education/resources/selling-the-victorians/barretts-stout-1898/

Thanks Chippy. 5-600 parts per billion (µg/l); I do often allow less than one part per million to fall under my radar (unless talking about nerve poisons) Shocking! My bad. You do have to be careful what you say about Guinness Stout ... it gets converted to a new myth supporting Guinness in the...

Couldn't rely on memory, so Googled "Irn Bru" instead. 0.002% Ammonium ferric citrate, is that all? Never knew it was released in 1901 And really can claim to be Scotland's "other" National drink. All-in-all, kept me amused for an hour or so: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irn-Bru. But Iron in...

1: That's not a realistic expectation! The commonly used Inkbirds don't work in a "bang-on" fashion, but they'll be close enough (they might cause a minor initial "over-shoot" of selected temperature, but the temperature will settle down quick enough). So: "No", like @MashBag said. (I use an...

I think everyone using silicone to seal around the bath have noticed it goes black! Fortunately, silicone seals withstand quite a bit of heat, so you can chuck 'em in a pressure cooker for five minutes or so. Harder work getting the black stain out, but it can be done (chemicals). You can't...

First read this wrong: Porky so-so, eating too much black puddin' ... Quick retake ... 28", I'm thinking 38"! (Don't employ me to measure anything critical in imperial measures!). ... Hell's Teeth, you're a flippin' rake man!

I have special dispensation on account of a bit of a bump on the head. Unfortunately for you: The same bump on the head allows me to dream up more and more extreme punishments for folk who don't take their pizza bases seriously enough (my definition of "serious enough" being the only...