NUFC QUIZ

[Sniper]

53,000 Geordies meet in St James Park for a "Geordies
Are Not Stupid" convention.

Alan Shearer addresses the crowd "We are all here today
to prove to the world that Geordies are not stupid. Can
I have a volunteer please". To loud applause Gazza
gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to
the stage.

Shearer asks him "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20
seconds Gazza says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the
Geordies start
chanting "Give him another chance! Give him another
chance!"


Shearer says "Well since we have a capacity crowd,
world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I
think we can give him another chance".


So he asks "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds
he eventually says, "Ninety?"


Shearer looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh.

Everyone is disheartened and Gazza starts crying.


But then the 53,000 Geordies begin to yell and wave
their hands
shouting "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER
CHANCE!"


Shearer, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than
good eventually says, "What is 2 plus 2?"


Silence hangs over the stadium.



Gazza closes his eyes, and after a whole minute
eventually says, "Four?"

Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the
Geordie crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp
their feet and
scream..................




"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

 

[grapefruitmoon]

:clap:

 

[Sniper]

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto 'We love to fly and it shows'. The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto 'Winning the hearts of the world'. Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred , he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto 'Going beyond expectations'.

The woman looks at him sternly and says 'What the f**k do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face. 'Ryanair'

 

[Tony]

and in keeping with the original joke (which was outstanding btw)

A bloke walks into a brothel and asks the Madam at the front desk,

"How much for Humiliation?"

Madam replies "£49.99"

Bloke "What do I get for that?"

Madam "A Newcastle United shirt"