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I worked at a place where my buddy and me managed to grow psilocybes in the dark and warm space above the toilet. Great fun and high times ensued on many occasions, then we got the sack when the boss turned up unexpectedly and found us wandering around naked singing Scott McKenzie's 'If you're...

In the space of 7 days, the UK commits to zero carbon emissions by 2050 (?) and announces plans to extend Heathrow airport. Is that to accomodate gliders or summat? Climate change.... what a total load of b*****ks. Guys, follow the money, not the hopelessly misinformed degenerates and charlatans...

On Saturday I nipped into a shop for, and run by, Eastern Europeans. It's good for cheap and plentiful spices. Whilst there I noticed some juice cartons with pics of bunches of white grapes on them. All the text in Polish or Romanian or whatever. Couldn't make sense of it and neither could the...

It seems that having a mental illness is in vogue these days, the latest must-have accessory. Nah, it's just a cop-out for gaining attention / avoiding work or an excuse for being a weak-minded soul who baulks at all of life's usual hurdles. I blame my own belligerence and intolerance of...

Many a true word is spoken in jest... Anyhow after a little consideration I've decided to deny y'all a selection of my best jokes as not only would an instant forum ban result but I'd have the bobbies round to arrest me cos someone with gender identity issuse would be crying in a corner and...

What started a few years ago as a few flecks in the wind, has now become a full-on blizzard. Shame... the only jokes I like are ones that horribly offend someone, somewhere. I'll compile a few and report back later. Get yer crash helmets out.

Mrs. Gunge can't stand uniformed types. So me, who wouldn't go near a uniform or a suit, is the exact opposite and as such am constantly on the receiving end of sexual attention. It gets tiring sometimes tbh but you know what they say about not looking gift horses in the mouth, or summat like...

Certainly not. You've all been 'had'... except those of you who believe in it for whatever reason advanced your cause.

If someone dropped a tonne of coal outside your pad, even in these days of fantasy climate change, and you had no use for it, you'd not be best pleased and would presumably refuse to pay. So why does anyone have to pay the BBC if they don't watch or listen to any of its offerings? It's crazy...

Climate change - what a load of cack. Trump ought to be our next PM, he's right on that one and he wouldn't stand for all this trying to wriggle out of Brexit nonsense. Anyways, I like his style.

Shucks! But it's not just OAPs, pension credit or no, who are being shafted. Is the BBC immune to competition or summat, and in theory would still get the licence fee if it had no viewers, as by any sane account it shouldn't have?

You're welcome. When it all goes **** up, as it will, remember me.

Leccy vehicles are shyte. Crap range, crap sound, crap convenience etc. They've tried everything over the years to tackle congestion and failed miserably, but electric vehicles look like being the solution seeing as they barely go anywhere before going flat, and taking forever to charge. Well...

Or me. Remember, kids.... Brexit means Brexit.

They're obsessed with pushing climate change crapola... as much as I am in refuting such garbage. For instance, their low-down report on snow in Australia was littered with links to stories about record warmth, presumably to stop simpletons getting the 'wrong idea'. They can't help themselves...

Third party insurance should be a legal requirement for cyclists, not just to cover the hapless peds they injure on the pavement but the carnage they cause on the road. Meanwhile, all the litter and rubbish that inspired this thread is still making our town an even bigger eyesore than it...

"Another sign of the great progress we are making. Worse food, less free time, lower relative wages, higher food & house prices Degeneration of our culture, sexualisation of the youth, lowering of IQ's in the west. Family values being destroyed, labelled sexist or whatver "ist" the progressive...

Ebay gets lots of stick but I've made nearly 200 purchases over the years and honestly never had a problem. The one time an item didn't arrive, two turned up within a day of each other after I'd informed the seller of the no-show. Oh and just the other week a bottle of motorbike oil got damaged...

Our council pays 'Dave' loads of cash to potter around in his water truck feeding the 5 million hanging baskets which adorn the lovely ( not ) town centre, whilst the rest of the borough out of sight of any strangers who might have cause to visit, goes to rack and ruin. It is, of course, Labour...

I'm obsessed with symmetry and precision in everyday life - a trait I wasn't aware of until it was pointed out a long time ago. Probably the result of working in trades that demanded such a leaning. But does that qualify as a mental health issue? No... just an idiosyncrasy.